Since moving to a new town where Tom can actually train, I've learned a lot about what it means to fight. I think most people think you've got to be angry to fight or once you get hit you just see red, take off throwing punches and hope that's enough to beat someone else. Not true. I've mentioned to some people that my husband fights competitively. A few responses have been "I bet that's a good way to take out his anger from work." What? No. You know where Tom deals with anger from work? Uh, at work. Or in the hour long showers he takes to "cool down". Tom's not angry. He has 3 kids that he turns to complete mush for when he gets home. 2 year old daughter wants grapes at midnight? Who do you think hand feeds her grapes then rubs her back until she falls asleep... Not me. Baby is crying in her bed and I say she's got to cry a few minutes then she'll go back to sleep.. Tom either picks her up or rubs her back for a few minutes. He beams with pride over his 5yr old throwing combos, how good his kicks are, solving math problems, and putting together strategic battles with his plastic army guys.
Fighters have this sickness where getting hit in the head is fun. Training to choke someone out isn't all about self defense or fear, it's the rush of challenging your mind and your body against someone who might be stronger than you, and then beating that challenge. Sometimes you don't come out on top. We could all stand to have some of that in our lives. Not necessarily the getting punched in the face part but, you get it. Since Tom took his last fight and really started to train, it became a huge part of our lives. We talk about it every day. It's not unusual for Tom to be shadow boxing me while I'm talking about what we're having for dinner or how many dirty diapers I changed that day. I used to flinch but I don't anymore haha.
Tom's coach had a fight last week which meant Tom was gone almost as much as he was when he was training for his own fight. I realized that I couldn't be supportive of Tom and nobody else. These people supported Tom and helped him train for his fight, and he gave back to them. I wanted to be selfish and nag him to stay home but I watched a team form where they built each other up and tore each their down for 5 rounds just to build them up stronger the next round. (I'm telling you, it's a sickness). Tom's coach won his fight, and he thanked his teammates as graciously as if they had been in the ring with him. Tom lost his fight, and yet we celebrated the same as when Brad (his coach) won because both were amazing feats of courage and strength regardless of their different outcomes.
Some of us don't fight battles in cages. Some fight battles with themselves, with families, with sickness, some fight real, brutal wars. There are people everywhere who are fighters in one way or another.
I don't really know where I was headed with this post. We just got to talking about fighting and remembered all the comments about how angry fighters had to be to be able to compete like that or how there's no way I could want my kids to see their dad get beat up. You know what? I do. Tom's victory was won by the dedication to winning, the countless hours at the gym, by overcoming his mental blocks that wanted him to stop, by gaining friendships and bonds with others, by getting hurt and refusing to quit, by continuing on passed mental and physical exhaustion, by losing and having it make him a better, stronger person and fighter. There is no bad lesson there. It's not a brutal, angry sport. It's patience, it's discipline, it's strength in mind, body, and spirit. I'm proud of my husband. I'm proud of his team. I'm proud of the fighters.
