We're All Ridiculous Sometimes

I started typing this post with "it's been a tough week" then I thought, has it really though? From a mother's perspective, yea. We all got sick again for what feels like the billionth time. After sanitizing everything in sight and doing my best to keep everyone's germs to themselves, it was a total waste of time because we all passed it around anyway! My days usually go like this: 4:40am the alarms start going off for Tom to get ready for work. Since he's my oldest child I get up and get all his stuff ready because if I don't he'll go to work without pants or, ya know, his gun and badge which are equally important. (I really do love him I promise). He leaves around 5:30, I do my workout (Psych! I go back to bed.)  for all of about 20 minutes before Terra wakes up. 7am get Noah up and do the routine thing for school, spend the rest of my day going to dance class, doing chores (even though you can't tell because let's be honest, the only time my house is clean is when my children are unconscious so what is even the point?), princess parties, tea parties, lots of crying (over nothing because I have 2 daughters), lunch time, snack time, cleaning up after said lunch and snack time, bottles, diapers, coloring, story time, nap time, attempting to clean and do laundry time, pick up Noah, make more snacks, find something for dinner, check for bed time and notice it's only 4:30pm, homework, games,

Baths, teeth brushing, singing, dancing, 8:30pm Tom gets home from training, pick up his sweaty clothes, say prayer with the kids and listen to their sweet voices ask that Heavenly Father keeps us safe and that he blesses each one of us, kisses and hugs, dinner and chit chat with Tom, Shower, climb into bed way later than planned, wake up with one or more children multiple times at night, then start it all over. Some may think it sounds easy, some may think it sounds hard. The truth is, some days it's the easiest thing in the world, some days it's the hardest thing in the world. Tonight, Chloe threw one of the fits that probably makes my neighbors think she's possessed all because she was too tired to pick up her water bottle but when I put her in bed, she claimed she wasn't tired so she got even more mad (....ooook). This lasted about 30 minutes. If you're a parent, you know that sometimes you handle fits like a pro, and other times you handle them about as graciously as the child throwing the fit. Either way, I was angry, tired, and for some reason convinced that I had had the worst day. So, naturally, when Tom comes home and is all "Yea, it was kind of a long day." I'm like "Oh, you don't even KNOW!" Which is ridiculous because he does know. Tom sees a lot of ugly at work. The ugliest thing I saw all day was a poopy diaper and a screaming, over-tired 2yr old. I realized tonight that I'm selfish. We all are a little bit and that's not necessarily bad all the time but, even on my worst day, I wouldn't want anything different than what I have right now. Sometimes my kids cry, sometimes they hit each other, sometimes they cry because their juice wasn't red enough (true story), or their chocolate milk didn't taste exactly right. Some days it drives me crazy, some days it cracks me up. That's just life. I'm so thankful for what I have. The moments where I see all my blessings clearly without any worldly things clouding them up are few but they are so strong. I guess what I'm saying is this, my bad days are someone's best days. This is true for all of us. I have people in my life all around me who are hurting or struggling with things I never have and perhaps never will. I have my personal struggles and my weaknesses but like that saying says, if I put them in a circle with every one else's, I would take mine back in a heartbeat. The world is so ugly and dark but, in this tiny little apartment, it's very bright. I want to remember that. I wrote this post so that when I'm snappy at my kids for something ridiculous like Chloe being mad because she wanted to wear the pink shoes instead of the red shoes or Terra just wanting to be held or Noah accidentally messing up the mowhawk I just finished spiking up, I can read this and remember how utterly ridiculous it really is. We usually don't know we are being ridiculous until we've already finished up being ridiculous and all we need is a little perspective. All of you who are struggling and fighting your own battles, keep fighting. You feel alone but, you aren't. We're all fighting for something.